(Today’s blog post is part of the Blogging From A to Z Challenge during which writers all over the world blog each day in April based on a corresponding letter of the alphabet. These are my personal stories about living with Trigeminal Neuralgia, the most painful diagnosis known to man.)
Okay, “zeligate” isn’t actually a word, but “zelig” is and I didn’t want to close out the Blogging from A to Z Challenge on one of the obvious choices (e.g. zero, zany, etc.)
A delegate is defined as someone authorized to represent a group of people, and while I wasn’t exactly granted any kind of permission, I’ve used this month to talk about my life with Trigeminal Neuralgia. I hope I have done so in a way that is respectful and relevant to all the TNers out there and I truly appreciate the positive feedback I’ve received. Of course, I also hope that some people who have read my blog have not been familiar with TN, because one of our greatest fights is for more awareness.
A zelig is a person who is able to change their appearance, behavior, or attitudes, so as to be comfortable in any situation. I contend that everyone with TN or any chronic illness, has a bit of zelig in them. Most of us face every day by attempting to be as “normal” as possible. We take our showers, put on makeup (okay, maybe not men, but then again…) and go out and face the day. We cook, clean, spend time with our families and go to work. Yet in some ways, we are playacting at being well. We try not to let our condition, and the pain, take over who we are, when many of us would prefer just to be curled up in bed, not talking, not having to be anything. We trudge from doctor to doctor, each time feeling hopeful that this will be the one who relieves us of the pain.
I have had the opportunity to meet people who have TN and even though we share a medical condition, I still look upon them with awe. I am so thankful to have found people that really get it. People with whom I do not need to change or fake it or pretend to feel better than I do. Each of you are rock stars, inspirations, keepers of our fears, all while still being able to laugh at times about things like brain fog and weight gain (maybe not so much about the weight gain). If I could share my spoons* with you, I’d do it in a heartbeat – and they wouldn’t be dinky teaspoons, either. They’d be those ginormous decorative spoons people hung on the wall in their kitchens in the 70’s.
And I’ve had an additional dosage of “zelig” this month. I pretended to be a daily blog writer. It’s been a fun experience, but my life isn’t exciting enough for a daily update. Oh, I’ll continue posting, just not so often and not about TN. I’m sick of this disease – no pun intended. (And if you want to receive email notifications when I post something you can sign up for it. It’s over there – on the right side.)
Thank you for reading.
*Why spoons? Learn about “The Spoon Theory” here: